Possible! Secrets
by Kimron Posstoppable
Summary: What secrets do Kim Possible and her friends and foes keep hidden? They tell all in this ongoing series. Kim Possible and Late Night with Conan O'Brien crossover. R&R, please and thank you. Humor Parody.
1. Possible! Secrets

This is a rip-off-- er, I mean, homage to "Kim Possible" and Conan O'Brien's "Secrets" series of sketches.

This will be an ongoing bit as on LNwCO featuring K.P. and other characters.

Disclaimer: "Celebrity Secrets" belongs to "Late Night With Conan O'Brien" and NBC.  
Kim Possible belongs to NBC/Universal Studios.

* * *

Possible! Secrets.

by Kimron Posstoppable

Rating: PG-13

Conan: Sometimes we at "Late Night" can get celebrities to sit down and tell us their deepest secrets. It's really disturbing stuff. This time, we got a well-known crimefighter to spill her guts. Take a look.

(Cut to: Kim Possible sitting what looks like an interrogation room. Kim There is a bottle of milk and a glass of milk in front of her. She is in her "classic" mission clothes and copping as much of an OOC 'tude as she can.)

Announcer: (Shouted) Possible! (whispered) Secrets.

Kim: My motto is "I can do anything." (mischievous look; raised eyebrow) And I do mean _anything_. I'll baby-sit, help you wash your car, take down despotic dictators... Anything. (pauses thinks for a moment) Except... I will _not_ help you move. Gotta draw the line somewhere.

Announcer: (whispered) Secrets.

Kim: Contrary to what some of you fanboys and fangirls think, I have not, nor have I _ever_ crushed on Shego. I hate her and she hates me. Plus, I like guys. (takes a sip of milk, muttering) Well, maybe if I was _really_ drunk... (shakes her head; still muttering but loud enough for audience to hear) No. No, no, no. Not even then.

Announcer: (whispered) Secrets.

Kim: I've had a lot of head injuries. My mom says that it's a wonder I don't have brain damage. (long pause) I've had a lot of head injuries. My mom says that it's a wonder I don't have brain damage.

Announcer: (whispered) Secrets.

Kim: I've heard that some people think I'm (air-quotes) "too perfect" and that I think I'm better than everyone else. I just want tell everyone who thinks that just one thing. (leans forward with a smirk) It's true. I save the world on a regular basis with my kick-ass sweetheart of a boyfriend, got a super-smart family and friends who love me and have my back, I've been to almost every continent on the planet, I've been in space, and on top of all that, I'm hot!

Kim: (stands; becomes increasingly belligerent) So yeah, suck it, losers. I _am_ better than you. What of it? You want a piece of me? Bring it!

Announcer: (Shouted) Possible! (whispered) Secrets.

* * *

I tweaked this a bit. It better suits the tone of the rest of the "Secrets", I think.  
A cookie for those of you who can tell how this chapter changed. :) Hopefully, it's a change for the better. 


	2. Stoppable! Secrets

**Stoppable! Secrets.**

by Kimron Posstoppable (AKA VelvetiSmoove)

Conan O'Brien: Sometimes "Late Night" can get famous people to sit down and tell us their deepest secrets.  
It's really disturbing stuff. This time, we got a well-known sidekick to spill his guts. Take a look.

(Cut to: **Ron Stoppable** sitting what looks like an interrogation room. There is a pitcher of water and a short glass of ice in front of him on his right. He is wearing his Red Jersey/Cargo pants outfit and copping an amped up "The Ron" 'tude. **Rufus the Naked Mole Rat** is on the table, leaning on the bottle with a toothpick in his mouth, looking very "bad-ass". Ron pours himself a drink and sips a bit...)

Announcer: (Shouted) Stoppable! (whispered) Secrets.

Ron: Do you know what it's like to be trapped in the middle of nowhere at night with a bunch of cute high school cheerleaders? I do. (loud whisper) And it's awesome. (laughs)

Announcer: (whispered) Secrets.

Ron: You know who actually wrote the Naked Mole Rap? You guessed it: Eminem. He wanted to take a break from the whole I-hate-my-mommy-and-I-want-her-dead thing.

Announcer: (whispered) Secrets.

Ron: Once, Kim and I switched brains and I was in her body for a few days. And you know what? She's a natural redhead. (Slow grin, cocked eyebrow) Boo-Yah. (nods suggestively)

Announcer: (whispered) Secrets.

Ron: (Picks up glass, looks at it and sniffs it) Are you sure this is water? (sniffs it again) Okay. (sits quietly for a moment of awkward silence... panic slowly crosses his face; puts hands over his mouth) Oh, man. K.P. is gonna **kill** me.

Announcer: (Shouted) Stoppable! (whispered) Secrets.


	3. Possible! More Secrets

**Possible! More Secrets.**  
by Kimron Posstoppable (AKA VelvetiSmoove)

**Conan O'Brien**: Sometimes "Late Night" can get celebrities to sit down and tell us their deepest darkest secrets. It's really disturbing stuff. This time, we got a well-known crimefighter to spill her guts. Take a look.

(Cut to: **Kim Possible** sitting the interrogation room. The bottle of milk has been replaced with a pitcher of water and a shot glass. She briefly scans the glass of water with the Kimmunicator before drinking some. Kim is in her classic crop top/cargo pants mission clothes and is still trying her best to maintain an OOC 'tude.)

**Announcer**: (Shouted) Possible! (whispered) Secrets.

Kim: I'm going to kick Erin Esurance's butt if she doesn't stop copying me. (pointing toward camera) Anytime, anyplace, you pink-haired poser. (cracks her knuckles) Bring it on.

Announcer: (whispered) Secrets.

Kim: (Kim is slouched in the chair absently picking at her navel) Stupid belly button lint. (after about thirty seconds of probing, she plucks out an oddly large chunk of lint and examines it in disgust...) _Eeew._ Gorchy. (...flicks it, then looks up suddenly, realizing she's still being filmed) Heh. (She sits up straight and waves sheepishly at the camera) Hi.

Announcer: (whispered) Secrets.

Kim: (giggling) Ron's kisses make my toes curl. (Beat.) There's no joke there. It's just true. (Sighs and rests her head in her hands with a goofy smitten look on her face)

Announcer: (Shouted) Possible! (whispered) Secrets.


	4. Possible! Secrets Mother's Day Edition

**Possible! Secrets. (Mother's Day Edition)**  
by Kimron Posstoppable (AKA VelvetiSmoove)

**Conan O'Brien**: Sometimes "Late Night" can get celebrities to sit down and tell us their deepest darkest secrets. For Mother's Day, we got a well-known crimefighter's Mom to talk to us. Take a look.

(Cut to: **Mrs. Dr. Possible** sitting the interrogation room. On the table in front of her, to her right, there is a tray set up with a small vase of wildflowers, a tea pot, a sugar bowl, a small bowl of lemon wedges and a tea cup on a saucer. She is wearing her purple suit and lab coat. Mrs. Dr. P. pours herself a cup of tea and takes a sip...)

**Announcer**: (Shouted) Possible! (whispered) Secrets.

Mrs. Dr. P.: (holding teacup) When Kim was a little girl she was just the cutest thing.

**Kim Possible**: Oh, no... No. (Loud whisper, off camera) Mom, this is supposed to be about _your_ secrets.

Mrs. Dr. P. : (takes a sip of tea) There's one shot I have of her one summer, when she was four. She was running around in the backyard under the sprinklers, naked as the day she was born! It was hot that day and she just took everything off before anyone could stop her!(laughs)

Kim: (off camera) Mom, please don't. For the love of--

Mrs. Dr. P.: (continues) Ron was there, too... The look on his face was priceless-- (perks up in realization) Oh! I have the picture here, actually.(puts the teacup down and takes her wallet from her suit pocket, looking through the photos in it)

Kim: (Off camera) You keep that picture _in your wallet_?

Mrs. Dr. P.: Found it! (starts to hold it up to the camera) Isn't that adorable?

Kim: (sticks her head into frame from her mother's left) _Mom!_ (growls) That's it. (puts her hands over the camera, completely preventing the picture from being seen.) Enough.

Mrs. Dr. P.: What? It's a cute picture!

Announcer: (Shouted) Possible! (whispered) Secrets.


	5. Stoppable! More Secrets

The saga continues. Enjoy.

**Stoppable! More Secrets.** by Kimron Posstoppable

Rating: PG-13

**Conan O'Brien:** (sitting at his desk) Sometimes we at "Late Night" can get famous people to sit down and tell us their deepest secrets.  
It's really disturbing stuff. This time, a well-known sidekick came back to spill his guts. Take a look.

(Cut to: **Ron Stoppable** sitting in the interrogation room. There is a pitcher of water and a glass of ice water in front of him on his right. He is still wearing his Red Jersey/Cargo pants outfit. His "The Ron" 'tude is a bit more subdued this time, but he's doing his best to maintain it. **Rufus the Naked Mole Rat** is sitting on the table next to the pitcher, gnawing absently on a piece of cheese.)

**Announcer:** (Shouted) Stoppable! (whispered) Secrets.

**Ron:** (Ron nods conspiratorally, a wicked grin on his face for a moment...) I've got big hands and feet. You know what means don'tcha?

**Ron:** (...then his expression turns serious) It's really hard for me to find a good pair of shoes and gloves that fit. Wade had to special order my misson gloves for me.

**Ron:** (deadpan) What were _you_ thinkin'? (rolls his eyes in mock disgust)

**Ron:** (reaches for the glass of water and starts to take a sip) Pervs.

**Announcer:** (whispered) Secr--

**Ron:** (with a smug grin and a wink) It's huge.

**Announcer:** (whispered) Secrets.

**Ron:** I don't care what the DNA test says. I'm Anna Nicole's baby daddy.

**Ron:** (Abruptly breaks down, sobbing dramatically) I wanna be a millionaire again _so bad! _(Puts his head on the table, still sobbing. Rufus pats his arm reassuringly)

**Ron:** (sniffling; head still on table) Thanks, buddy.

**Announcer: **(whispered) Secrets.

**Ron:** I know it seems like I wear this same outfit all the time, but-- (tugs at his jersey sleeve)

**Ron:** --I've about a hundred of these in my closet. This one's number-- (takes off jersey and checks tag) XXXL. (pronounces it "ex, ex, ex, el")

**Ron: **(takes a second look at the tag) No, wait--

**Announcer:** (Shouted) Stoppable! (whispered) Secrets.

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Disclaimer: "Celebrity Secrets" belongs to "Late Night With Conan O'Brien" and NBC. 

Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable belong to Walt Disney Productions.


	6. Possible! Even More Secrets

**Possible! (Even More) Secrets.** by Kimron Posstoppable

Rating: PG-13

**Conan O'Brien: **Sometimes we at "Late Night" can get celebrities to sit down and tell us their deepest darkest secrets. It's really disturbing stuff. This time, we got a well-known crimefighter to come back spill her guts. Take a look.

(Cut to: **Kim Possible **sitting in the interrogation room. A pitcher of water and a glass sitting on the table in front of her. **Kim** is wearing her new mission clothes (purple top/black pants, wrist Kimmunicator) and is still trying her best to maintain an OOC 'tude.)

**Announcer:** (Shouted) Possible! (whispered) Secrets.

(Hana Stoppable is running around the interrogation room in the background-- on the floor, the ceiling --basically bouncing off the walls)** Kim:** Sometimes when I was baby-sitting, if a kid started driving me crazy and was bouncing off the walls, I used to just slip 'em some Nyquil. Knocked 'em right out. (**Kim** stares into the camera stone-faced for a few moments as **Hana** continues to run amok. Hana hops onto the table, knocking over the pitcher and glass of water, spilling it everywhere. **Kim** takes out a bottle clearly marked "Nyquil" and a spoon)

**Kim:** (smiling brightly, singsong) Oh, _Hana_...

**Ron Stoppable:** (off-screen, gasps) K.P., _no_!

**Kim:** Oop. Heh.(Kim immediately hides bottle and spoon) What? I wasn't really gonna do it. (**Hana** hops onto **Kim's** head and perches there, giggling. Kim chuckles, takes the child off her head and hugs her)

**Announcer:** (whispered) Secrets.

**Kim: **(deadpan) I not only pick my nose when nobody's looking, sometimes... (leans in toward camera) I eat it.

**Announcer:** (whispered) Secrets.

**Kim:** I'm really glad I've got a car of my own now, because it means I don't have to rely on rides to get to missions. Some of them were really getting weird, like the time I got a ride from an airline pilot.

(Cut to: **Kim** (in classic mission clothes), Ron, and Rufus in a commercial plane's cockpit with **Glenn Quagmire** of "Family Guy". **Kim** is sitting in the co-pilot's seat; **Ron** and **Rufus** are standing to her right)

**Kim: **Thanks for the ride, Mr. Quagmire, we really appreciate it.

**Glenn Quagmire: **Glad to help you out, Miss Possible. If you hadn't helped me pull my (bleep) out of that (bleep) (Kim narrows her eyes at Quagmire; Ron's eyebrow raises at Quagmire's swearing) I never would have been able to fly those sick Hurricane Katrina orphans out of New Orleans to the hospital.

**Quagmire:** (slinks an arm around **Kim** and pulls her close. She glares at **Quagmire**; **Ron **and **Rufus** share a "he's so gonna get it" look) So... Is it true you can do anything? 'Cause I can. Giggety, Giggety Gi--(**Kim** punches **Quagmire** out cold, takes his place in the pilot's seat and flies the plane herself. **Ron** and **Rufus** grin with smug satisfaction)  
**Quagmire: **(still on the cockpit floor) Playin' hard to get, eh? All ri-iiight.

**Announcer:** (Shouted) Possible! (whispered) Secrets.

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Disclaimer: "Celebrity Secrets" belongs to "Late Night With Conan O'Brien" and NBC.  
Kim Possible belongs to Walt Disney Productions. 


	7. Shego! Secrets

**Shego! Secrets.** by Kimron Posstoppable

**Conan O'Brien:** (Conan is sitting at his desk. His hair is singed and green tinted smoke is wafting from his suit. He looks like he's been roughed up a bit and looks nervously off-screen to his left) Uh... Sometimes "Late Night" can get celebrities to sit down and tell us their deepest, darkest secrets. In the interest of equal time, a well-known-- (**Shego's** hand reaches into the shot, grabs his Eisenhower mug and burns it up in her fist.)

**Shego:** (off-screen)_ Famous!_

**Conan:** (flinches) Sorry, _famous_ villainess wanted to share some secrets of her own. (fake cheeriness) Take a look. (**Conan** gulps and mouths "Help me!")

(Cut to:** Shego **sitting the interrogation room. There is a pitcher of water and a glass of water sitting to Shego's right. Shego settles down in the chair and begins filing her nails.)

******Announcer:** (Shouted) Shego! (whispered) Secrets.

******Shego:** There are some of you fanboys and girls who seem to think I want to do Miss Perfect. (Rolls her eyes; as MadTV's Vancome Lady) Tch-yeah, you know what? Uh-uh. (as herself) No. Not gonna happen. (pauses, raising an eyebrow) Although... (gets a lustful look in her eye) That new get-up she's wearing looks really good on her. After fighting Possible for so long, I can't help but notice how firm her thighs are. Those new pants of hers hug every curve. It's really distracting, because she looks all kinds of hot. (rests her chin on her hand and licks her lips suggestively) Boy, the things I could do to her. She may deny it, but we both know she wants to-- (suddenly jumps to her feet and points at the camera, laughing cruelly) Psyche! Hope that holds ya for a while, fanboys! 'Cause it's never gonna happen! (continues cracking up, holding her sides)

******Announcer**: (whispered) Secrets.

******Shego:** (girlish giggle) Y'know what? Martin Smarty's money makes my toes curl. (stops and thinks about what she just said)Uh, wait-- did I say "his money"? I meant "his power". (shakes head) No, no, his _kisses_. Kisses. (deadpan) Right.

******Announcer**: (whispered) Secrets.

******Shego:** When I was a (air quotes) "good girl" for a while, I _hated_ it. (Pauses, looks thoughtful)Well... Except for going shopping. I picked up some nice stuff. (wistful expression; her mood shifts gradually more upbeat)Getting back to teaching. Dating Stevie... (Giggles girlishly, then composes herself)Even hanging out with the Princess and her sidekick wasn't too gag inducing. (Seems happy at the memory for a moment, then lowers her eyes.) Before I was switched back, I was gonna tell her that-- (Looks as if she is about to wipe away a tear, but she suddenly glances up at the camera...) Oh. (Anger seeps back into her face and Shego's back. Her hand flares up and she glares menacingly into camera)

**********Shego:** Shut. The camera. _Off_. (Screen goes to snow, then a test pattern)

**********Announcer**: (Shouted) Shego! (whispered) Secrets.

(Cut Back to **Conan **at his desk. He looks even more roughed up and **Shego** has him by the collar. She seems... upset.)

**********Shego:** (Furious) You told me you weren't going to show that take!

**********Conan:** Eep.

******(****Conan** wriggles free of **********Shego**, leaps over the desk and cowers behind the guest chairs. ******Shego **is behind the desk, fists clenched and hands flared up, ready to strike, when **********Kim Possible** and ******Ron Stoppable** burst in through the stage door. Kim runs toward******Shego**)

**Kim Possible**: (to **Conan)** On it! Go to commercial! (kicks **Shego** away from the desk before **Shego** can blast **Conan**)

**Conan:** (to **Kim**, indignantly) Took you long enough! (into camera, breathless) We'll be right back with Patton Oswalt.

(Pan to: **Max Weinberg & the Weinberg 7** playing a swing version of "Call Me, Beep Me" as **Kim** and **Shego** fight on the "Late Night" set. Fade to commercial break.)


	8. Possible! What? There's More? Secrets

Possible! (What? There's More?) Secrets. 

Rating: PG-13

**Conan O'Brien:** Sometimes "Late Night" can get celebrities to sit down and tell us their deepest darkest secrets. It's really disturbing stuff. This time, we got a well-known crimefighter to spill her guts. Take a look.

(Cut to: Kim Possible sitting in the interrogation room. A pitcher of water and a glass sitting on the table in front of her. Kim is wearing her new mission clothes (purple top/black pants, wrist Kimmunicator).)

Announcer: (Shouted) Possible! (whispered) Secrets.

**Kim:** I was recently offered a guest spot on "Pals" and I turned it down. By then, the show had totally jumped the shark and I couldn't stand it anymore. The last straw was when they had this stupid storyline where two of the Pals had been platonic best friends for like forever and then out of the blue, they fell in love with each other. (scoffs) Talk about unbelievable. (rolls eyes)

**Announcer:** (whispered) Secrets.

**Kim:** First she co-opts my look, now my car too? It's even the same color. You're goin' down Erin Esurance! (menacing look, cracks knuckles) You're goin' down.

**Announcer:** (whispered) Secrets.

**Kim:** You know why Ron's pants fall down so much? (holds up wrist Kimmunicator) There's a button on here for that. (Presses it.)

**Ron** (off-camera): Hey! Not again! K.P.! (Ron enters from Kim's right, pulling up his pants, annoyed.) That was _so_ immature.

**Kim:** (leering at Ron, waving a dollar in his direction) That's right, shake it, Honey! (Kim continues catcalling as Ron glares at her) Aw, c'mon! What?

**Ron:** I am _not_ a piece of meat, Kim! (stomps off in a huff)

**Kim:** (scoffs, yells after him) _You know you love it!_ (after a beat, she cackles wickedly and presses button again)

**Ron** (off camera): (exasperated) _Kim!_

Announcer: (Shouted) Possible! (whispered) Secrets.

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Disclaimer: "Celebrity Secrets" belongs to "Late Night With Conan O'Brien" and NBC.  
Kim Possible belongs to Walt Disney Productions. 


	9. Monique! Secrets

Monique! Secrets. 

Rating: PG-13

Conan: Sometimes "Late Night" can get celebrities to sit down and tell us their deepest darkest secrets. It's really disturbing stuff. This time, we got an up and coming fashion designer to spill her guts. Take a look. 

(Cut to: Monique is sitting in the "Secrets!" interrogation room. The girl looks sharp. She's wearing a pink turtleneck sweater, gray wool slacks, and gold hoop earrings. There is a champagne glass and a bottle clearly marked "sparkling white grape juice" sitting beside her on her right. Monique pours herself a glass and takes a sip.)

Announcer: (Shouted) Monique! (whispered) Secrets.

Monique: (Shame-faced and sobbing) Once, I wore white shoes after labor day. (covers her face) Don't look at me.

Announcer: (whispered) Secrets.

Monique: When I was younger, I had a condition that makes the whites of your eyes the same color as your skin. A few months of using special eye drop medication cleared that right up.

Announcer: (whispered) Secrets.

Monique: I've been working at Club Banana since I was seven years old.

Announcer: (Shouted) Monique! (whispered) Secrets.

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Disclaimer: "Celebrity Secrets" belongs to "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" and NBC.  
Monique belongs to Walt Disney Productions. 


	10. Interlude  A Small Talk Moment

Possible! Secrets.: Interlude - "Kim Possible" Series Finale Small Talk Moment 

**Conan:** You know the teen crime-fighter, Kim Possible? She's been on the show a couple of times. Nice girl. Anyway, there's a show on the Disney Channel based on her life and adventures called "Kim Possible". After a successful run for three years, the show ended with a TV movie called "So The Drama" which finally showed how Kim Possible and her sidekick, Ron Stoppable paired up. When die-hard fans found out the show was going to end, they started a "Save Kim Possible" campaign to get the show back on the air. Long story short, thanks in part to their efforts, "Kim Possible" came back in February 2007 with all-new shows. Unfortunately, it's ending for good this September, so I thought we'd take some time to talk about it in a "'Kim Possible' Series Finale Small Talk Moment".

(Cut to segment title card written in "Kim Possible" font that says--)

**Singers: **"Kim Possible" Series Finale Small Talk Moment!

**Conan: **Yeah. So Max, I'm just curious, what do you think of the fourth season of "Kim Possible"?

**Max: **Oh, it's been great Conan. The first Season 4 episode, "Ill Suited" showed that it was possible, no pun intended, to continue the show with Kim and Ron as a romantic couple. It's been handled really well.

**Conan:** I know! This season has been great. So much has changed! K.P. got a new car and a brand new mission outfit. Ron is on the football team and got a new baby sister. Monique, Kim's best friend, got a promotion at Club Banana, Brick Flagg went to college, and Bonnie got a new boyfriend!

**Max: **Not to mention most of Kim's old foes are back, including Professor Dementor, Motor Ed, Monkey Fist, and fan favorites, Dr. Drakken and Shego! Plus there's a few new villains, like the alien warrior Warmonga and Team Go's nemesis, Electronique.

**Conan:** (laughs) It sure was great to see Shego back! (looks scared for a brief moment, then is cheery again) The episode "Stop Team Go" was a KiGo fan's dream! Luckily, I was able to see all the episodes so far. A few of them were preempted without warning.

**Max:** Yeah, thanks to the Disney Channel's haphazard scheduling of the show, it was hard to to find. But on the bright side, many fans will be looking forward to the upcoming marathon leading up to the two-part series finale, "Graduation". I can't wait! See, what happens is--

**Conan:** (holds up hand) Please, no spoilers, Max.

**Max:** (contrite) Sorry, Conan. Hicka-bicka-boo?

**Conan:** Hoo-shah!

(both laugh uproariously)

**Max:** (laughing) Wow, Conan, talking about the "Kim Possible" series finale sure is great!

**Conan:** (laughing with exaggerated fake enthusiasm) It sure is, Max!

(Cut to Max, stone-faced; after a moment cut to Conan, also stone-faced)

(Back to Max)

(Back to Conan)

(Cut to segment title card)

**Singers:** "Kim Possible" Series Finale Small Talk Moment!

(Cut back to Conan's desk)

**Conan:** Well, that was fun. (laughs) We'll be back in a moment with Nicole Sullivan, stick around.

(Max Weinberg and the Weinberg 7 play a jazzy version of "Call Me, Beep Me"; fade to commercial)

* * *

This is a rip-off-- er... homage to "Kim Possible" and Conan O'Brien's "Secrets" and "Small Talk Moments" comedy bits.

Disclaimer: "Celebrity Secrets" and "Small Talk Moments" belongs to "Late Night With Conan O'Brien" and NBC. Kim Possible belongs to Walt Disney Productions.


	11. Possible! Secrets  Mrs Dr P 2

**Possible! Secrets. - Mrs. Dr. P. 2: Electric Boogaloo** by Kimron Posstoppable

** Conan O'Brien:** Sometimes "Late Night" can get celebrities to sit down and tell us their deepest darkest secrets. Once again, we got a respected brain surgeon and well-known teen crime-fighter's Mom to talk to us. Take a look.

(Cut to: **Mrs. Dr. Possible** sitting the interrogation room. She is wearing her purple suit and lab coat. There is an elegant tea setting on the table beside her on her right. **Mrs. Dr. P.** pours herself a cup of tea and takes a sip...)

** Announcer:** (Shouted) Possible! (whispered) Secrets.

**Mrs. Dr. P.:** Know how I stay so thin? Mineral water and Tic Tacs.

**Announcer:** (whispered) Secrets.

**Mrs. Dr. P.:** Medical school was very expensive, so I worked my way through school as an exotic dancer. (Brief pause; takes a sip of tea)_ Not_ a stripper. There's a difference. Big difference. (sighs) Not by much, but there is a difference.

**Announcer:** (whispered) Secrets.

**Mrs. Dr. P.: **I've had people compliment me on how lovely my daughter Kim is. Sometimes when people see us together they think we're sisters! (chuckles) That's so sweet.

**Kim Possible: **(Loud whisper, off camera) Oh, no... Not again._ Mom!_

** Mrs. Dr. P.:** (wistfully; absently stirring her cup of tea)You know, if a girl's really pretty, nine times out of ten, she's pretty like her mother.

**Kim: **(off camera, realizing what's about to happen) Oh no.

**Mrs. Dr. P.: **They say that if the girl's really fine, nine times out of ten, she's fine just like her mother.

**Kim: **(inches into frame from her mother's right, wearing the white baby tee with pink heart/pink jeans outfit) Please God, no.

**Mrs. Dr. P.:** (bobs her head in rhythm, rapping a cappella surprisingly well) _Mommy's looking good from her head to her feet/She's forty-_(coughs)_, but she's still looking sweet/And you can tell her daughter's not even at her peak/'Cause her mama's looking so hot, packing that heat _(quickly licks index finger and presses it to her shoulder, shakes finger as if burned, then points in Kim's direction again) _So be a good girl and thank your mama_.(gets up from chair moves in front of the table, singing and snapping her fingers) _She got it from her mama! She got it from her mama! She got it from her mama! She got it from her mama!_

**Kim: **(mortified; covering her face) Eeew. Please stop.

**Mrs. Dr. P.: **(does the "Cabbage Patch") _She got it from her mama! She got it from her mama! She got it from her mama! She got it from her mama!_

**Kim: ** (scoffs, crosses her arms) The _Cabbage Patch_? That is _so_ eighties, Mom.

**Mrs. Dr. P.:** (continues singing chorus; does the the "Running Man" and the "Roger Rabbit" and for a bit, then turns her back to the camera and starts "droppin' it like it's hot"; **Kim** looks on in horror) _She got it, got it, got got got it... (_Mrs. Dr. P. segues into "The Robot", "The Swim", then "The Bump", first bumping Kim, then hip-checking her off-screen to their right. Kim comes back into frame laughing, does "The Bump" with her mother a couple of times, then wanders off-screen to her left shaking her head with a bemused grin as her mother continues to dance and sing)_ She got it from her mama! She got it from her mama! She got it from her mama! __She got it, got it, got got got it-- _

**Announcer:** (Shouted) Possible! (whispered) Secrets.

(Cut to Conan at the desk.)**Conan:** (in awe) Wow. (pause) Kim's mom's kinda hot. (laughs) We'll be right back. Stick around, 'cause Gary Cole's up next.

(Pan to **Max Weinberg & the Weinberg 7** playing Simon and Garfunkel's "Mrs. Robinson"; fade to commercial)

* * *

Author's note:  
I blame sleep deprivation and the "Mrs. Anne Possible (Hotter Than Kim?)" thread at the RS. net forum for this bit of silliness. :D  
That stupid (but catchy) Will.i.am song popped into my head as soon as I saw the thread's subtitle and could _not_ help myself. 

Kim Possible, Mrs. Dr. Ann Possible, and Ron Stoppable belong to Disney.  
"Late Night with Conan O'Brien" and "Celebrity Secrets" belong to NBC/Universal.  
The lyrics to "I Got It From My Mama" by Will.i.am belong to Will.i.am and Universal Music.


	12. Shego! More Secrets

Disclaimer: Shego and Dr. Drakken belong to Disney.

"Late Night with Conan O'Brien" and "Celebrity Secrets" belong to NBC/Universal Studios.

* * *

Shego! (More) Secrets.

by Kimron Posstoppable

* * *

Conan O'Brien: Recently, a well known, no, (air-quotes) "famous" villain, Shego took over my show. (cut to: brief replay of Shego roughing up Conan for a moment) I wasn't scared. (Cut back to Conan, who looks genuinely scared for a moment, then goes back to normal) Shego took control of the studio for a few hours after demanding she be allowed equal time for "Secrets." segments as her foe Kim Possible had been. During that time, she shared a surprising number of "Secrets". Since she went to such extremes, I figured she meant for them to be shown. (shrugs) Not my fault 90 percent of 'em are potentially embarrassing. So now, we at "Late Night" are sharing them with you. Take a look. 

(Cut to: Shego sitting the interrogation room. There is a pitcher of water and a glass of water sitting to Shego's right. Shego pours herself some water and takes a sip...)

Announcer: (Shouted) Shego! (whispered) Secrets.

**Shego:** Drakken and I are not a couple. Unlike some people, I can work with a guy without falling in wuv with him. Yes, we live together, but we have a strictly professional relationship. (cell-phone rings with an Oh-Boyz "I Want It My Way" ringtone); Shego takes a device similar to an iPhone from her leg pouch and answers it) Hello? Hey, Dr. D. (pause) Where am I? I'm in New York. (pause) Conan O'Brien's show. (exasperated) C'mon, I told you before I left. (pause) Well, you were busy with your latest (air-quotes) "take over the world" thing and I didn't want to bug you with-- (pause; rolls eyes) You don't have to worry about me. I'm a big girl. (pause) See you later. (brief pause; Shego smiles and blushes a bit.) I can't say that now. (pause) Not now. (pause) Because. Okay. (hesitantly) I... do too. Okay? Happy now? Jeez, you're such a girl sometimes. Okay. Gotta go. (hangs up; replaces phone in leg pouch, crosses her arms, and gives the camera a stern look) He's not my boyfriend. Not. (sits back in chair, arms still crossed; doesn't quite look like she believes what she just said)

Announcer: (whispered) Secrets.

(Shego is reading a copy of Maxim Magazine with Kim on the cover striking a provocative pose in the infamous little black dress she wore in "Emotion Sickness". Shego cocks her head to the side, nodding in appoval of what she sees in the pages, her lips curl into a lascivious grin.)

Shego: (to herself, but loud enough for audience to hear) I'd tap that. Insanely hot. (Looks up; turns magazine so audience can see the inside pages--) Check this out. (--She's reading a Brad Pitt interview) (Glances at the cover, then at the camera. Scoffs, rolls her eyes and goes back to reading magazine) Puh-lease. So not interested in Miss Perfect. (flips a few pages; raises an eyebrow and grins; doesn't look up from reading) Nice spread, though.

Announcer: (Shouted) Shego! (whispered) Secrets.

Conan: We've literally got hours of stuff like that. (laughs) We'll be right back with Phil LaMarr, so stick around.

(Pan to Max Weinberg 7 playing "I Want It My Way" by The Oh Boyz; fade to commercial)

* * *


	13. Mankey! Secrets

Mankey! Secrets. by Kimron Posstoppable

* * *

Disclaimer: "Celebrity Secrets" belongs to "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" and NBC.  
Kim Possible and Josh Mankey belong to Walt Disney Productions.

* * *

Conan: Sometimes "Late Night" can get celebrities to sit down and tell us their deepest darkest secrets. It's really disturbing stuff. This time, we got an up and coming artist and musician to spill his guts. Take a look. 

(Cut to: Josh Mankey sitting in the "Secrets!" interrogation room. Josh looks a bit older and is still good-looking, despite having grown a goatee. He's wearing a light blue T-shirt and black jeans. He's also got a particularly OOC "pretentious smug a-hole" look on his face (If you thought he actually was a pretentious smug a-hole before, turn that perception up a few notches). The usual pitcher of ice water and glass are in front of him.)

Announcer: (Shouted) Mankey! (whispered) Secrets.

Josh Mankey: I wasn't Kim Possible's first boyfriend. I was one of many studs in that stable.

Kim Possible: (off-camera) Josh... Don't make me come over there.

Josh: (startled) Huh? (waves in Kim's direction sheepishly) Oh, hey, Kim! Long time, no see!

Announcer: (whispered) Secrets.

Josh: Since I graduated from Middleton High, I've done a lot of things... I'm in my sophomore year in art school and my work has been shown and sold around the world. My garage band got a record deal with an indie label and got nominated for a "Best New Artist" Grammy. That was pretty cool. Yet, whenever I get interviewed, you know what people want to know about? (mockingly) "What was it like to be Kim Possible's boyfriend?" "Is Kim Possible as nice as she is in public?" "Did Kim Possible dump you for Ron?" (scoffs) I mean, come on! So she saves the world on a regular basis. Big deal. What about me, huh? (throws his hands up in exasperation) Priorities, people! (crosses his arms and pouts)

Announcer: (whispered) Secrets.

Josh: Ron's a lucky guy. Really lucky. (waggles eyebrows suggestively) If you know what I mean. (chuckles)

Kim: (slow burn) Josh...

Josh: (to Kim) I'm just saying as far as girlfriends go, you were a nice girlfriend. Really nice.

Kim: (off-camera; calmed down) Oh.

Josh: (to camera) And by "nice", I mean "easy".

Kim: (off-camera; annoyed, scoffs) You wish.

Josh: For example, when I dated Kim, there was this one really nasty thing she liked to do...

Kim: (growls) All right, that's it! (storms onto set from Josh's right, wearing her pink long sleeved v-neck top/white pants outfit; her teeth and fists are clenched)

Josh: Whoa! (puts hands up defensively in Kim's direction) Hey Kim, chill out!

Kim: (points at him) Oh, you are so gonna get it! (lunges at him; puts him in a headlock)

Josh: Oof. (voice slightly muffled; still in headlock) What's the big? I was just gonna tell 'em about the marshmallows on hot dogs thing. You gotta admit, that's kinda nasty. (pauses; realizing where his head is at the moment) Y'know, this kinda reminds me of when we were dating. (Kim rolls her eyes in annoyance and frees him from the headlock. Josh rubs his cheek as if in pain) Jeez, I forgot how pointy those things are. (Kim narrows her eyes at Josh, grabs his arm, and yanks him off-camera to her left) Ow! (off-camera scuffling) Not the face! Not the fa--

Announcer: (Shouted) Mankey! (whispered) Secrets.

(Cut back to Conan at his desk)

Conan: (laughing) Oh, man, I'd hate to be that guy right now. We'll be right back with Donald Faison in a minute. Stick around.

(Pan to Max Weinberg 7 playing "Breaking Up is Hard to Do"; fade to commercial break)

* * *

Apparently, you guys are enjoying reading these "Secrets." almost as much as I enjoy writing them. Thanks for taking the time to read and/or review. I really appreciate it. :) 

Soon to reveal "Secrets." or take part in a sketch (in no particular order: Kim (of course), Ron (natch), Rufus (on the way), Dr. Drakken (got something special in store for Dr. D.), Shego (Conan's got hours of Shego spilling her guts), Monique, Wade, Mr. Dr. P., Zita, Bonnie, Brittina, Prof. Dementor, Monkey Fist, and Mankey might be back.

Some of you suggested Secrets subjects:  
Rufus (like I said, on the way), the Tweebs (way ahead of ya-- they can't wait to spill some secrets), Yori (still trying to think of something funny for her to do or say), Sensei (hadn't even thought about having him do one-- until now. Thanks. :)), Hirotaka (hadn't thought about him either, but Bonnie's "Secret" is coming up soon and I'm sure he'll have a few secrets to share about her), Mr. Dr. P., and Dr. Drakken.


	14. Drakken! Secrets

Drakken! Secrets. - by Kimron Posstoppable

Disclaimer: Dr. Drakken and Shego belong to Disney.

"Late Night with Conan O'Brien" and "Celebrity Secrets" belong to NBC/Universal Studios.  
Conan O'Brien: A while back, Shego took control of the studio for a few hours after demanding she be allowed equal time for "Secrets." segments and shared a lot of "Secrets". During that time, super-villain Dr. Drakken stopped by to share some secrets of his own. Take a look.

(Cut to: Dr. Drakken sitting the interrogation room. There is a pitcher of ice-water and a glass sitting in front of him to his right. Drakken pours himself some water and takes a sip...)

Announcer: (Shouted) Drakken! (whispered) Secrets.

Dr. Drakken: It took less than two weeks after saving the world from the Lawardians for me to get back to the business of trying to take over the world. (gleefully) I just had to get back in the saddle again. Besides, I heard there are a couple of mice who have come very close to taking over the world. They think of plans (pounds hand in fist on each word) every single night. I can't be beaten to the punch by mere rodents.

Shego: (off-camera; snickers in disbelief) Megamaniacal mice? (derisive snort) Gimme a break.

Drakken: (points in Shego's direction) Don't mock, Shego! Stranger things have happened. One of them calls himself "The Brain". Can you imagine the arrogance?

Shego: Pot, meet kettle.

Drakken: I heard that!

Announcer: (whispered) Secrets.

Drakken: In the final episode of the show based on Kim Possible's life-- (annoyed; muttering) That I don't recall signing the rights of my likeness to... (normal voice) --I was shown telling Professor Dementor how I turned blue and I was cut off. That actually happened and it's quite an interesting story. You see... (audio drops out, Drakken continues talking for about a minute, gesticulating elaborately, finally mimicking an explosion. His voice fades back in...) ...And that's what happened. (Looks off-camera) What do you mean the sound went out? (Crosses arms stubbornly) Well, I'm not repeating it. The story loses its punch the second time.

Announcer: (Shouted) Drakken! (whispered) Secrets.

* * *

The possibilities for "Secrets." subjects are literally limitless. At this point, some of you guys have suggested practically the entire supporting cast. :D Your reviews and suggestions have been clever and interesting for the most part and have been sincerely appreciated. For now, I already have a pretty good idea of who's coming up next and what secrets they'll reveal. Thanks again for having a look.


	15. Possible! Secrets Possible! Redux

Disclaimer: Kim Possible and her friends and foes belong to Walt Disney Productions.

"Late Night with Conan O'Brien" and "Celebrity Secrets" belong to NBC/Universal Studios.

* * *

Possible! Secrets. - Possible! Redux.

by Kimron Posstoppable

Rating: PG-13

Conan: Sometimes we at "Late Night" can get celebrities to sit down and tell us their deepest, darkest secrets. It's really disturbing stuff. This time, we got a well-known crimefighter to spill her guts. Take a look.

(Cut to: Kim Possible sitting in the interrogation room. There is a bottle of milk and a short glass of milk in front of her. She's wearing her "classic" mission gear and copping as much of an OOC 'tude as she can. Still, something about her seems a bit more off this time. Maybe it's the blue eyes. She pours herself some milk and takes a sip...)

Announcer: (Shouted) Possible! (whispered) Secrets.

Kim: (holds up glass of milk) Oh, this? This isn't just milk. (takes a sip) Mmm. It tastes... (takes another sip and gags) It tastes-- (sniffs milk in glass and then the milk bottle) --It tastes like it's been sitting out here since last December! (spits and gags) Ew! What's wrong with you people? (stagehands rush in with a fresh milk bottle and glass) Gah!

Announcer: (whispered) Secrets.

Kim: Contrary to what some of you fanboys and fangirls think, I have not, nor have I ever crushed on Shego. I hate her and she hates me. Plus, I totally like guys. (takes a sip of milk, muttering) Well, maybe if I was really drunk... (breaks into a sly grin; nods) Yeah. I would _so_ do her. She's hot.

Announcer: (whispered) Secrets.

Kim: My motto is "I can do anything." (mischevious look; raised eyebrow) And I do mean _anything_. (takes a sip of water) Just ask Ron Stoppable. (winks) In fact, I have a new website where you can see us do anything. (giggles; arches her back and strikes seductive pose)

(The Real Kim Possible (wearing her new mission outfit) comes in from "Kim's" right and stands behind her, arms crossed. "Kim" hasn't noticed yet.)

Kim: (clearing her throat) Ahem.

"Kim": (still hasn't noticed Kim behind her. She flips her hair and slips into a familiar nasal "Valley girl" voice) It's like, totally interactive and you can send me off on any kind of (air-quotes) "mission" you want. You want to see hot KiGo mud-wrestling action? Got a taste for KimRoNique sandwich? (Monique enters from "Kim's" left, hefting a baseball bat; Kim and Monique share a look, then glare at "Kim")

"Kim": Then check out w-w-w dot k.p. undre-- (Kim firmly taps "Kim"'s shoulder; "Kim" slips completely out of character) Ow! (scoffs) Like, what's your problem? I-- (notices Kim standing next to her and winces) Oh, crap.

Kim: (barely containing her contempt) Hey, Camille. ("Kim" morphs into Camille Leon.)

Camille: Busted.

Monique: (ticked off; brandishing baseball bat menacingly) That website had better not be real, girl.

Kim: (to Monique) Oh, it's real, all right. Wade tipped me off about it. (to herself, but loud enough for audience to hear) I've got to ask him how he came across it in the first place. (aloud) I wouldn't even do half the stuff you do on that site as me and the other half is just-- (shudders, disgusted) Ew.

Camille: (tosses her hair haughtily) Whateves, girls. It pays the bills. Besides, you guys, like, wrecked my career.

Monique: _Career? _What career? You get your picture taken by the paps and show up at award shows. That's _it_.

Camille: (continues, looks like she might cry) Even the Fashion Underground won't deal with me now. You skanks _so_ owe me.

Kim: (raises an eyebrow) Excuse me? Skanks?

Monique: (under her breath) Oh snap, girl, you shouldn't have said that.

Kim: (gives Camille an _oh-no-you-di'n't_ look) _Skanks?_ You do every depraved act you can think of _on camera _and _we're_ the skanks? (looks into camera; cracks knuckles) You guys might want to clear out of here. This is gonna get messy.

Ron: (rushes in from left ; breathless) Did someone say something about a KimRoNique sandwich?

Kim and Monique: (in unison; annoyed) _Ron!_

Ron: (flustered; blushing) What I meant to say was that as soon as I heard, I ran all the way here to stop it, because it's totally wrong! (points at Camille accusingly) Totally sick and wrong! (to Monique, who crosses her arms and scowls at him) 'Cause we're just friends and I would never ever think of such a thi-- (trails off as he catches Kim glaring at him; points off camera) Uh, I'll be over there. (hurries off to the right)

(Now Kim and Monique focus on Camille; Kim raises a fist and Monique swings her bat as Camille, trapped like a rat, braces for impact-- just as the screen freezes)

Announcer: (Shouted) Possible! (whispered) Secrets.

(Cut to Conan at his desk)

Conan: (Notices Max Weinberg writing something on a memo pad) Uh... What're you writing, Max?

Max: (looks up from memo pad) What was the name of that website?

Conan: (shakes his head) You're a horrible, horrible man. (to audience) We'll be right back with J.K. Simmons right after this.

(Pan to Max Weinberg 7 playing "Girl Fight Tonight" by Julie Brown; fade to commercial)

* * *


	16. Stoppable! Even More Secrets

Stoppable! (Even) More Secrets. by Kimron Posstoppable

Rating: PG-13

Conan: Sometimes we at "Late Night" can get famous people to sit down and tell us their deepest secrets. It's really disturbing stuff. This time, a well-known sidekick returned to spill his guts. Take a look.

(Cut to: **Ron Stoppable** sitting in the interrogation room. There is a pitcher of water and a glass of ice water in front of him on his right. He's wearing his bowling shirt/dark pants outfit. **Rufus** is sitting next to the pitcher, reading a copy of Ebony magazine with Chaka Khan on the cover.)

Announcer: (Shouted) Stoppable! (whispered) Secrets.

**Ron:** K.P. used to change her clothes while I was in the room. I'd cover my eyes or turn away when she did that. (sly grin) I don't do that anymore. (forlorn sigh) Now that we're dating, she usually kicks me out of the room. (grins; cocks eyebrow) Most of the time.

**Announcer:** (whispered) Secrets.

**Ron:** (oblivious to camera; reading aloud as he writes on a pad of paper with a pencil) Mr. Ron Stoppable. (pause) Mr. Ron Stoppable-hyphen-Possible. (shakes head) Nah. (erases what he has written) Too wordy. (writes) Mr. Ron Possible. (pauses; thinks for a moment) Mrs. Ron Possible. (chuckles to himself) Mrs. Kim Possible. (cracks up laughing, then pauses, studying the page for a moment, looking slightly disturbed; vigorously erases what he's written) Nah. (resumes writing) Ronkim Stoppossible. (scoffs; erases again) Eeww. No. (brushes away eraser dust with disgust) Stupid name. (pensive) Hmmm... (goes back to writing) Kimron Possto--

**Announcer:** (whispered) Secrets.

**Ron:** I sleep with a box full of fresh Nacos every night. I just snuggle up with 'em like a Teddy bear. I don't eat them. The smell puts me to sleep. They're gone by the morning, though. Wish I knew what happens to 'em.

(camera cuts to Rufus, who is still sitting on the table and looks up from the magazine he's reading)

**Rufus:** (rubbing his belly) Yum! Midnight snack!

**Announcer:** (Shouted) Stoppable! (whispered) Secrets.

* * *

Disclaimer: "Celebrity Secrets" belongs to "Late Night With Conan O'Brien" and NBC. Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable belong to Walt Disney Productions.

* * *

Author's Notes: I'm back, y'all! :D "In The Year 2K" is still in the works --it's not even close to funny enough for my taste right now-- and there will definitely be more Dr. D. and Shego. In addition, a couple of the older "Secrets" will be tweaked a bit. Actually, if anyone's noticed, Kim's first secret (Chapter 1) got a face-lift. There are some surprises on the way, too. :)


End file.
